Dear Lauren,

We regret to inform you that your previously scheduled delivery has encountered a minor disruption in the space-time continuum. Due to an unexpected fluctuation in the Vortex, your package was temporarily rerouted to an alternate timeline—specifically, your father's residence in Pensacola, FL.

Incident Details:

• Order ID: #DW-1963-2025
• Scheduled Delivery Date: 19 APR 2025
• Revised Delivery Date: Pending recalibration of temporal coordinates
• Cause: Temporal displacement due to TARDIS interference

Despite our usual mastery of intergalactic logistics, this anomaly has necessitated reliance on a primitive terrestrial system—namely, Earth’s postal service. While not our preferred method of distribution, this contingency was deemed the most viable under current circumstances.

Compensation: As a token of our apology, we’ve included an extra roll of bubble wrap. Please handle with care; previous anomalies suggest our bubble wrap may occasionally harbor spontaneous surprises.

We appreciate your patience. As always, even the Doctor runs late now and then—though never without good reason.

Allons-y!
The Kerb!am! Team
Delivering across time and space since the 51st Century